‘The League of SOCIAL EXCELLENCE- Vol. 1
An introductory pocket guide on ‘generally being ones’ best’ at social gatherings.A compilation of tips, tools, thoughts and techniques gathered from guests at the latest ‘THE LEAGUE’ salon session at Mission Control, on a recent Dandylogical expedition by Professor Dandy.
On a recent chilly winters evening in the Mission District of San Francisco, THE LEAGUE brought together a splendid diversity of Dandies, Gentlefolk, Ladies, Bohemians, Dilettantes, Fops, Femmes Fatales, Muses and otherwise nattily dressed persons.
Mission Control, home to many excellent explorations in social evolution, hosted this scandalously spectacular event by and for those who make Mission Control possible: allies, volunteers, crew, and our very special guests. The dreamers, dancers, leaders, visionaries, and achievers who move the world towards sexy evolution, and this was their night.
Mission Controls’ very own ‘Co-Flounder’- Professor Dandy aka Barron Scott hosted a mercifully brief foray on the topic of SOCIAL EXCELLENCE and gathered suggestions from the excellently dressed guests present at the Salon.
The following notes are distilled directly from the guests comments.
This first volume addresses the following aspects of Social Excellence-
‘Self Presentation, Gifts and Engaging’
It is in this narrators humble opinion that many left feeling inspired by the wisdom freely shared amongst one another that night.
May the pursuit of SOCIAL EXCELLENCE lift and inspire all those who come in contact with its practice!
Qualities of ‘Social Excellence’ as defined by the Ladies and Gentlefolk of the salon-
Question:
What are the qualities of one that is ‘Socially Excellent’?
Answers:
GRACEFUL, POISED, STYLISH, DIGNIFIED, RESPECTFUL, LISTENING, PRESENT, EMPATHIC, MANNERED, CREATIVE and WITTY
On ‘Self Presentation’;
Question:
What are the various ways one might prepare oneself for entering into the social arena?
(Note that the ‘getting ready to go out ritual; is both an external and internal process of preparation!)
Answers:
Be well GROOMED and hygienic
Be CONFIDENT and TRUST YOURSELF.
ENJOY YOURSELF and remember to have fun.
BE AUTHENTIC and genuine
Remember good POSTURE.
BE RELAXED AND COMFORTABLE
When dressing, SHARE WHAT INSPIRES YOU WITH OTHERS
GIVE EFFORT IN HOW YOU DRESS
Need help or ideas on preparing for a certain outing? Do not be afraid to reach out and ask a friend for help!
DON’T FORGET HATS AND ACCESSORIES!
ON GIFTS;
Question:
‘What are some of the gifts one can you bring to any social occasion?’
(Note: by gifts, i mean anything that can be offered or shared with others at a social gathering. It is interesting to note that most of the ‘gifts’ suggested here are not tangible objects but rather, behaviors or qualities)
Answers:
COMPLIMENTS
SUPPORT
HUMILITY
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
ACCEPTANCE
A GENUINE EMBRACE
A SMILE
Mints, gum
Your CARD.
A quality drink to share.
CONSENSUAL ADVICE.
This topic of ‘offering advice’ was one that the guests were quite passionate about!
Specifically, those present felt that giving unsolicited advice or constructive criticism was frowned upon in general.
The general consensus was to ALWAYS make sure you have the express permission of those asking.
Finding ways in which one could offer up a thought or observation to another was of much discussion. Most present felt that advice should take the form of ‘sharing’ or ‘encouragement’ rather than direct, pointed commentary and avoid coming off as ‘opinionated or judgemental’
On ‘Engaging others’
Question:
What are some socially excellent ways one can engage others in a social setting?
Answers:
Treat others in the manner you would wish to be treated.
be sure to enjoy yourself and don’t try too hard.
Remember to LISTEN. Be sure to tune into what a group or individual might be saying before just baring in with your own discourse. ‘SPEAK from the LISTENING’ and not just from your EGO.
Always be sure to observe any agreements particular to that social setting. This may mean taking an extra moment when you arrive to find out what they may be.
Take effort to make a genuine connection.
Defy expectation.
When asking people questions, don’t interrogate them!
Always be sure to include others that may be present in a situation. This means being sensitive to those that may be feeling more awkward than you!
What can you do to help others feel included in a social situation that may appear feeling left out?
